Thursday, January 12, 2006

Daddy forgot my birthday

Okay, I know. I'm 40 years old. It shouldn't matter to me whether my dad remembers my birthday. He was bad with birthdays when I was growing up, but he always remembered mine because it's two days before his wedding anniversary. I was actually due to be born on my parents' wedding anniversary. It's not like he ever made a huge deal of my birthday. He never even calls me. I have to call him. I would call home for my parents' anniversary. Then my mom died in 2002. And my dad doesn't mention my birthday anymore.

I miss my mom.

9 comments:

Travel Italy said...

Although a comment without understanding all of the dinamics of the relationship is probably unwarranted I would submit that it is interesting how our perception of social order have changed over the years.

It would never have been considered a problem that an older person, and more so a parent, would ever be expected to "call" a younger person. I believe it indicates a shift from "respect our elders" to "I am the center of the universe".

Himself said...

One only has one birthday but you can have many anniversaries But in any case many happy returnes of the day!

ChangeMe said...

The more people that forget my birthday the better, then I don't feel bad when I never bother to remember when anyone has a birthday either...

Blue Turtle said...

You know what? When we become our ages ... we have to be the one's to hold the celebrations. So when your birthday comes next -- hold a real big party. Invite folks who don't have anyone. Invite folks who do. Make a dish of something you always wanted, ask everyone to make a gift of themselves!

dawn said...

My dad forgot my last birthday too. But my dad had brain cancer and didnt remember alot of things. Our relationship had improved the last year and a half...

Dad died December 2nd of last year

Caz said...

I know exactly how you feel. Although my father died more than 20 years ago, I still remember, as a young child, that my mother would remind him that it was my birthday, and not once did he ever call - I still had to call him. This, despite the fact that my birthday was only five days after his own.

You're not being silly, or irrational. Gosh, the only other people in the entire world for whom our birthday is truly significant are our own parents and our own children (for those who have them). So if those people "forget", it really is a big deal; it does hurt.

So happy 40th birthday, even though I know it doesn't count in the same way that it would if your dad had remembered & given you a call.

Next year, you will be better prepared for the emotional let down, and don't ever forget that it really is "him" not "you" - it's who he is, and is no reflection on your worth.

Best wishes.

Eva J. Mah said...

It is so interesting to read the comments that this post generated. The variety of responses is amazing. It really brings home to me what blogging is all about: expression. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and post comments. I really appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

my boyfriend cheated on me and then he forgot my birthday. it ruined it for me.

Eva J. Mah said...

It really hurts when someone special to you forgets something important to you. It is hard not to take it personally, but we shouldn't. When something like that happens, it shows what kind of person THEY are. It makes no comment on you or your character.