Sunday, June 03, 2007

Never, ever again

I did the most irrational, idiotic, nonsensical, thing today. Please learn from my mistake.

My partner always tells me to "bat him upside the head" when he needs it. Well, at 5 am this morning, I decided that sounded like a really good idea. So I walked up behind him and popped him on the back of the head. He never saw it coming. If that wasn't bad enough, when he asked me why I did it, I simply stared at him like he was stupid for not knowing, and then walked away.

Why did I do it? It doesn't matter. Nothing he could do would ever justify me putting my hands on him in that manner. Violence within a relationship is never called for.

Communication is the most important thing to have in a relationship, and I let that break down. I chose to keep some feelings to myself until I erupted. That was wrong. I have no reason to keep anything to myself. This relationship is the most open, honest relationship that I have ever had. We have had the most incredible conversations that I never dreamed that I would have with anybody. I can tell him anything. What the hell is wrong with me?

I will spend the rest of my life making it up to him ... if he will let me. I mean, if he ever hit me, I'd pack my bags and leave without a second thought.

Domestic violence is NEVER called for, no matter who is the perpetrator.

3 comments:

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

Awww...my heart goes out to you on this; I've done something like this a long, long time ago as well, and even though it all worked out, I felt so horrible afterwards. You will be fine, m'dear. :-)

*hugs*

ariK

Eva J. Mah said...

Thank you, ariadnek, for those kind words. I still feel like a complete and utter creep.

Two Write Hands said...

You are most definitely not alone here. Since you say that communication is good, I'm sure both of you will be able to work past it. Thanks so much for dropping by my blog and signing my guestbook. Come by anytime! :)