I have been known to blast the radio when I am in the driver's seat of a car. When driving alone, I will belt out Life After Love right along with Cher. But I don't always listen to music. I often switch to talk radio, just to change things up a bit.
Thursday, September 27, I was making my monthly trek from Massachusetts to New York (to see my shrink, I'll explain that one in a future entry). After listening to Dr. Phil's TV show, which for some reason I can pick up on the radio while driving through Rhode Island at 5 pm, I bounced around the radio dial. As I approached the New York state line, I tuned in to a Christian radio station. Now, I am not Christian. I don't even consider myself religious. But I do like to listen to Bible lessons and sermons on the radio. It always amazes me how often my personal life philosophy lines up with Christian teachings.
I caught Enduring Truth hosted by Pastor Paul Sheppard. The topic was When God Closes A Door. His following words hit me like a ton of bricks:
"Your destiny can't be ruined by the decisions of others."
I immediately thought of the "closed door" on my career as an academic psychiatrist. I have been spitting nails at that door for five years now, trying to figure out how to get "them" to change their minds and open it back up again. It's time for me to realize that it just ain't gonna happen.
I believe that everything in life, good and bad, happens for a reason. I used to think that my "forced" resignation from psychiatry residency was a sign to simply take a break from my hectic life before resuming my career path. Looking back now, I realize that I had been struggling desperately to stay on that path for several years. Dogged determination was what got me as far as I went. Something or Someone was trying to tell me that it wasn't meant to be. I refused to listen; my entire life had to go to hell in a hand basket before I would even think about considering an alternative pathway.
Search for knowledge and self-discovery are my passions. Using those passions in an academic medical setting isn't in the cards for me. That doesn't mean, however, that the 12 years I spent in training will go to waste. I am simply meant to use my training elsewhere in a non-traditional manner. It is up to me alone to find "elsewhere" and fulfill my destiny.
I tagged this post with Mental Health Resources because I know that many people find comfort in their faith. Even though I have no specific religious affiliation, I can find solace in the teachings of various faiths.
Humans are social creatures. We are not built to "go it alone." Be it your pastor, your therapist, or your best friend, help is available to you in times of need. I say get help wherever you are comfortable.